“I think I was the poster girl of divorce in those days. People would tell me, ‘You’re too bold. Keep quiet, you’ll offend people.’ Today everyone speaks openly about these things. I’ve always believed you should be true to yourself, and I don’t have any regrets.”

‘A child deserves both parents’

The actor said her biggest priority after the separation was ensuring that Kaveri never had to choose between her parents.

“If it’s possible to keep things amicable, a child should have the love and support of both parents. A mother brings something different into a child’s life and a father brings something different. Children who have both are truly blessed.”

She believes parents should never allow resentment to interfere with a child’s relationship with either parent.

“Don’t deprive a child of a parent because of your own bitterness or personal issues. Unless you believe the other parent is genuinely harmful, the child is entitled to that love.”

Suchitra said watching friends fight prolonged custody battles only reinforced her belief.

“I’ve seen fathers being forced to go to court just to meet their children. I often wonder why. It becomes an ego battle, but in the process, it’s the child’s emotional well-being that suffers.”

Her conviction, she said, comes from her own upbringing.

“My father had the strongest influence on my life. A father is an important part of every child’s life. If a father wants to be involved and loves the child, that child has every right to receive that love.”

‘Shekhar’s the vacation dad’

Asked how she and Shekhar divide parenting responsibilities, Suchitra smiled as she described their roles.
“He’s the good cop. I’m the responsible one. I’m the full-time mom and he’s the vacation dad. Co-parenting comes with a lot of responsibility.”

She also admitted that becoming a mother made her consciously reject the strict parenting style she had experienced growing up.

“I had very strict parents. I always wanted to become the kindest mother in the world.”

She recalled how Kaveri once pointed out that she rarely refused her anything.

“She told me, ‘Mama, all the other mothers say no. You’re the only one who says yes to everything. You need to learn to say no.’”

A difficult marriage, but a shared responsibility

Suchitra and Shekhar Kapur married in 1997 after meeting when she was just 19. In earlier interviews, the actor admitted she had been “obsessed” with the filmmaker and even joked that she “got him to marry” her by telling him she wouldn’t continue seeing him unless he committed. Despite opposition from her family over their age difference and Kapur’s previous marriage, the two tied the knot when she was 22.

The marriage, however, was troubled almost from the beginning. Suchitra has previously revealed that she wanted to leave within the first year but stayed on after discovering she was pregnant with Kaveri.

She has also spoken about Kapur’s infidelity during their marriage, but insists that cheating wasn’t what ultimately ended their relationship.

“Marriages don’t break because of infidelity. They break because of disrespect.”

The couple divorced in 2007 after nearly eight years of marriage.

‘He’s a committed father’

Despite their differences, Suchitra has consistently maintained that Shekhar has always been a devoted parent.
In an earlier interview, she called him “a very good and committed father” and even revealed that Kaveri shares a closer bond with him than with her.

At the same time, she acknowledged that their separation deeply affected their daughter.

“She’s definitely been affected by what happened between me and Shekhar.”

Speaking about raising Kaveri largely on her own, Suchitra admitted single parenting was one of the hardest phases of her life.

“People say it takes a village to raise a child. Imagine doing it alone. My head was filled with worry and concern all the time.”